It’s been a little longer than normal.
I originally tried to post this last Wednesday before heading out on a long run with the dogs.
Something was broken and I couldn’t get it to post.
I tried again yesterday before taking Ted to daycare and doing my speed workout (terrible, by the way – some days are just rough.)
Same story.
Something was broken and I couldn’t get it to work.
Now I could have gotten obsessive and kept trying different ways to send it – which almost certainly wouldn’t have worked – and ruined a couple days of running…
Instead, I tried to stay in line with the theme of this email and just focus on what I could control.
So I reported the problems to IT and moved on with my day.
Anyway, here’s the email.
Hopefully, the third time’s the charm…
I see an idea pushed by coaches all the time:
“You’re only limited by your own beliefs.”
Sure, they’ll pay some lip service to real limitations that people have…
Then they do an immediate about-face and say none of those things can actually hold you back unless you let them.
Which is incredibly convenient because they always have something to sell you that will help you achieve those goals.
And the only reason you’re not buying that thing is because of your self-imposed limitations.
If you trusted yourself more, you’d pursue your goals and give them money!
I think this message sucks.
For one, I think it’s offensive to people who have real limitations.
If you’re going through your second round of chemo, maybe you don’t need some 30-year-old former track star telling you that a sub-3hr marathon is achievable if you just enrolled in their next training group.
Disingenuous nonsense aside, I also get annoyed because it’s so close to a message I actually find helpful.
“Focus on what you can control.”
That’s something I actually believe – whether or not I’m very good at doing it.
There isn’t much benefit to obsessing over things you can’t change. It just creates a lot of stress without providing an outlet.
So instead we should focus on the things we actually can do rather than ruminating over all the stuff we can’t.
I fail at this every day, but I still believe it to be true.
Now here’s the messy middle.
Most of us have a lot more control than we think.
Yet we’re often too afraid of imaginary consequences to do anything.
We’re so worried about mildly uncomfortable conversations and situations that we just give up on pursuing our dreams.
As a result, we end up blaming – and often resenting – other things in our lives for “ruining our dreams.”
Which obviously isn’t helpful.
So while I don’t think you’re “only limited by your own beliefs,” I do think far too many people set unnecessary limitations on their dreams because they don’t want to experience mild levels of discomfort.
If you truly want something, then you should go for it.
Call on the support of others – even if it breaks your status quo.
If you don’t think the people in your life would be supportive, then maybe that’s a conversation you need to have.
People are usually willing to make compromises if it helps someone they love to pursue an important goal – and if they’re not, that might be a sign of something deeper.
Yes, it will probably take a lot longer and be a lot harder if you have three kids and a full-time job.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t at least get started.
And if you just don’t think you can do it…
Well you just don’t know until you try.
So give yourself some credit.
You can probably control more things than you think.
Figure out what those things are and then go after them.